By Urja Vaswani
How Being Unheard Shaped My Relationships
Since childhood, I have always felt different from my family. Our interests never aligned. I didn’t mind these differences; after all, everyone has their own preferences. The real problem, however, was not the divergence in our interests but the way my voice was consistently unheard.
Every time I tried to express myself, the conversation was cut short. Before I could finish a thought, they would shift to another topic as if what I had to say held no weight. Over time, this pattern of dismissal left a lasting impact, shaping not only my self-perception but also the way I connected with others.
As I grew older, I found solace in relationships where I felt heard. When someone genuinely listened to me, I felt a deep sense of validation and connection. I would get attached easily, mistaking attentiveness for emotional security. But when their interest waned, or they ghosted me without explanation, I struggled to understand why. I would reach out, seeking closure, asking what had changed, only to realize that my need for acknowledgment had made me a people-pleaser.
This realization was a turning point. I began to see how my past experiences influenced my behavior, leading me to prioritize others’ approval over my own self-worth. Breaking free from this cycle hasn’t been easy, but awareness is the first step. Now, I am learning to validate myself, to speak even when my voice isn’t acknowledged, and to find confidence in my own narrative.
Healing from a pattern of being unheard is a journey, but it is one I am determined to take. No longer will I measure my worth by how much space I am given in others’ conversations. Instead, I will carve out my own space, knowing that my voice matters—even if it is only for myself.
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